Review! Sleepy Hollow, Ep. 2.2: ‘The Hatewatch Continues’ [Spoilers]

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We open with CraneSTILL WEARING HIS CLOTHES FROM 1787 – recalling an obscure wedding ritual in which the Horseman will marry his Katrina.  That would be…bad.  Immediately, we get a “man-out-of-time” joke about “the wedding industry”.  Sigh… Crane believes the ritual’s possible location may be where the Horseman holds Katrina.  He researches it while Abbie goes to meet the new Sherriff

The new Sherriff (Reyes) is tough! She kicked the Cartels around!  She won’t take any crap!  Lets see how that attitude holds up when a headless guy starts swinging an axe at her

Crane uses his photographic memory / instant recall to figure out where Abraham / Horseman has Katrina.  They’re in Dobbs Ferry. I always knew that place was evil!  The pair arrives at the location, confirming the Horseman’s there by making a noise outside his hideout, The Horseman appears, scans the area looking for intruders but doesn’t notice them.  But…but…He doesn’t have eyes so he can’t “see”.  Why doesn’t he notice them in the bushes 10 feet away? Sigh…. Katrina’s there but it’s too dangerous to rescue her now.

Searching for a weapon against the Horseman, they find Benjamin Franklin’s plan to build a Frankenstein’s Monster / Super Soldier called “The Kindred” which “…is the equal of the Horseman of Death.”  The plan requires a body part from the Horseman himself.  It’s always something…Luckily (?), they still have the Horseman’s skull.  From last season. You don’t care. Trust me.  Franklin already had a body, Crane will find it.  It’s 15 minutes into the show and credits are still rolling.  WTF??

Crane and Abbie retrieve the Horseman’s head from a safe deposit box (you don’t care, trust me.).  While they’re there, a bank worker approaches Crane and doesn’t comment on his clothes from 1787???  Seriously?  Then they make another Man-out-of-time joke this time it’s about credit cards. They retrieve the head and leave.

2.2A

“A credit card, you say? Can it be used at Old Navy?”

Jenny meets Sherriff Reyes who arrests her for possessing firearms. But..but..you don’t understand! I can’t fight the Horseman without them!! Crane, Abbie, Reyes and Jenny meet in the jail. Reyes doesn’t like Crane. I think Reyes understands just fine. I’ll bet anything she’s one of Moloch’s servants.

Crane and Abbie use Ben Franklin’s directions to find the Franklin-stein Monster in the caverns, making another “Man out of time joke” about Crane not asking for directions along the way.  That’s 3.  Ugh, I hate this show. They bring Franklin-stein’s Monster to the Horseman’s hideout.

The plan is to raise the monster, use him to lure the Horseman out while Crane sneaks in to save Katrina.  They don’t know about that Moloch gave Henry’s (the Horseman of War) automated armor. Uh-oh.  The Raise Dead spell finishes just as the Horseman arrives and I feel like I’m watching Monday Night Raw’s Main Event! Franklin-stein’s Monster vs. the Headless Horseman! Oh but the Horseman of War jumps in! It’s 2-1 until Abbie shows up, shooting War with an ineffective shotgun. Just like a cop to bring a gun to an undead, immortal warrior fight…  Franklin-stein’s monster impales the Horseman and is about to finish him when he sees Abbie about to be run down by War. The Monster engages War in combat, saving Abbie.

2.2B

“It’s a 2-1 and the Horseman of War is going for a chair! The only thing missing is the Steel Cage!”

Crane rescues Katrina but she won’t go with him.  She thinks she’s better off convincing the Horseman to delay his plans while feeding Crane information rather than flee.  This is an Idiotic plot device to keep them apart. Does she REALLY think this will work?  REALLY? UGH! Crane and Abbie leave Katrina there and Franklin-stein’s monster rides off into the sunset leaving both Horsemen wondering what just happened. Crane and Abbie return to their hideout but find no signs of Franklin-stein’s Monster.

CONCLUSION
This show is so ridiculous that I can hardly watch it without laughing.  Sadly, it’s not trying to be funny.

BACKLOG PRIORITY
2/10:  I’d watch this ahead of HGTV, Lifetime or anything Kardashian related….but that’s about it.

– Vrin

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